i want to go downstairs and eat a bagel. I want to get in my car and drive to taco bell, then starbucks, then the grocery store. But that isn’t me anymore, that girl was careless and heavy. I am heavy, but i am self-aware. I can instead, drive to the grocery store and pick out some vegetables. I am strong enough to go to the grocery store and only buy low cal food. I am strong enough to stare at the food i want and not eat. I am strong. I am empty. The coffee I drank 2 hours ago is swirling around in my belly waiting to make it’s exit. 20 calories so far. I am strong.